Freedom, Liberties, and Independence...Day

With July 4th being tomorrow, there is so much hype in this country. Sales are right around the corner at tons of stores, families and neighbors and friends all gathering for bbq's, grills are being gassed up and lit, bottle rockets are flying, and [hopefully] somewhere fireworks are being set off (I say "hopefully" because most counties in the state of IN have placed firework bans because of the extreme dry conditions).

We, as Americans, take this one day specifically as a time to celebrate our freedoms and liberties of living in the United States. I understand the importance of having one day to focus on such a right and gather to celebrate. There's something to say about the unity of all coming together to honor the same principle. In no way am I saying that having a specific day to celebrate is wrong! But, I started thinking today how many of us probably take those freedoms and liberties for granted. Why do we only pause this one specific day to recognize all that we have as Americans? We should do it more often! And why not? Who doesn't like a good party with family and friends?

Then I began thinking some more...about freedoms, liberties, and independence...and being a Christian. We have July 4th as a day to celebrate these ideals as Americans, but what about having one specific day in which we take time and focus on our freedoms, liberties, and independence that we receive by becoming a Christian?  There is no day for that - no day in which we all gather together and grill out or light up the sky with dynamite to show our honor and appreciation towards Christ. Sure, some would say we do that every week at church - but I'm talking about a celebration; a party! How many of us take these values of being a Christian for granted?

• Freedom: Jesus died for us so that we could be free - free of sin and free to live in an eternal life with Him. 
• Liberty: Just believing in Christ is a liberty we choose. 
• Independence: Well, those of us who are believers all got to that point at different times and stages of our lives. It was an independent experience, and will continue to be. Each of has a unique journey.

What better way to celebrate independence, than that of the day each of us chose to surrender our lives over to Him? Wouldn't it be cool if we each had our own Independence Day? We would celebrate the day we submitted our lives to Christ and let Him lead. It would be the day we admitted to ourselves, to Him, and to others that He has control of our lives and we don't. Light up the fireworks - draw words in the air with sparklers - and eat a lot of hot dogs and brownies - Let freedom ring! For I am declaring myself a Christian! Doesn't that sound awesome?!?! (Now, I'm still on my path to getting to this point, but let me tell you - I cannot wait for that day, and surely, I should probably throw a party when that day comes!) 

When it comes down to being a Christian and what's truly important in our lives, where is the focus usually at between these two "Independence Days"? What do we celebrate more? Being a free and independent nation? Or being a free and independent Christian? For which one do we throw a big party and gather and celebrate with loved ones? 

I don't want to underestimate or downplay the independence of our country - it surely deserves much celebration and recognition. It is important for us as Americans to honor our country and the freedoms we have! I'm simply proposing something to think about. 

I think it's safe to say that our Founding Fathers had something in mind when they decided on the sayings, "In God We Trust" and "One Nation Under God," to be present in and on so many important pieces of American history and literature. 

With that, I will leave you with this prayer: 

Lord, thank you for allowing us the rights and liberties we have as Americans in this country. Thank you for all those who have fought to protect us over the years and continue to do so. Please watch over all those celebrating the 4th of July and keep everyone safe. Lord, please help myself and others to recognize the importance of our own, personal independence days and help us each to see that day should also be one of celebration. In all, I pray that each American and Christian take time out not only tomorrow, but throughout the year, to be thankful for and appreciate all the freedoms, liberties, and independence we have as both living in this great country and being a believer in You. Amen. 

I found some inspiration for this post here. 

Crosses

I came across this website today. I really wanted to do my day-by-day devotional book, but as I was reading - nothing jumped out at me. I just couldn't get into it. So, I did a little searching and found two awesome sites. One is devotions just for teachers (I plan on looking more at this one once the school year starts, but the lady who posts is taking some time off for the summer), and the other is this one:

Girlfriends in God

How awesome is this site?? Just go look for yourself!! What I love about it is that it gives a brief message,  a prayer, and then some questions on which to reflect. Perfect for me! It's just what I was looking for. And lo and behold - even more perfect - today's message was about my favorite place in the world: the beach. I think God had a role having me stumble upon this today! :)

As Sharon, the blogger who wrote this post says, the beach is one of God's greatest and special treasures. There is so much in every grain of sand, in every wave that rolls in and then out again, in each shell. Her post is beautiful - she paints an amazing picture of the coastline in the morning. I can only wait in anticipation until I can enjoy a cup of coffee while listening to the songs of the sea. Hopefully I will get a chance to do that this summer! But what astounded me, something that I have not put much thought into, is His [REALLY] greatest gift - the Cross.

Sure, it's simple - two wooden beams. It's plain - nothing but wood and a few nails. Yet at the same time, it's strong and sturdy. It's more than just wood and nails. It's a symbol of who Jesus was and what Jesus did for us. What a beautiful symbol?!

The prayer taken from the post is as follows. I wouldn't normally post someone else's entire prayer, but I want to because I don't think I could say it any better for my thoughts as I read this post:


"Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the cross. Through the finished work of Jesus on those two simple beams of wood, You have given me eternal life. I pray I will never forget Jesus’ incredible sacrifice. Yes, the world may think the cross is foolish, but it represents the power of God through the gospel of Christ.
In Jesus’ Name,Amen." 

Now, what's even more awesome about this site are the questions for reflection - this is the part that I love most about devotions - it gives me time and forces me to think about the message...

1. What does the Cross mean to you?  You know, I have a tattoo of a cross on my left wrist. I purposely got the cross on my left wrist for the same reason they say you wear a wedding band on your left ring finger - because there is a vein there that goes straight to your heart. I got this tattoo as a constant reminder that God is always. He is constant. He is in my blood. He is in my heart. Along with the cross on my wrist, I have three small dots. To me the dots mean a myriad of things: of course, the Trinity. My siblings - my sister, brother, and me. Faith, hope, and love. I've heard that Jesus had to walk up three stairs to get to the cross - not sure if that is accurate, but I like the symbolism of it. So, there you have it - what the Cross means to me - it means a lot. It is a reminder of God and who He is and who He is in my life. I've never once regretted getting that tattoo. 
2. How would I explain the Cross to someone who doesn't know Christ? Besides what I said above, I would also explain the Cross to someone as the bridge from our mortal life to that of an eternal life with Christ. A good friend, Beth, I think - showed me an analogy once that described the Cross as a bridge. How do we "get" to the Lord - we use the Cross - the bridge. Once we understand what Jesus did for us, and symbolism of the Cross - it makes the idea of it being a bridge so much easier to "get". 
3. Why is the message of the Cross called the Power of God? I believe this is because everything is God's doing - He is always ten steps ahead of us. He knows what we will do, think, say, before it even crosses our minds. He knew the Cross would hold special meaning. The Cross is a symbol of Jesus and what He did for us, of God, of the Holy Spirit. With the Cross, the bridge, COMES the Power of God. In order to understand the Power of God, we must first accept the Cross and cross that bridge. 
4. Have you ever felt that God placed something right before you as a gift or reminder of His presence? Ha, this cracks me up because if you've read my previous posts you know that I see these signs that God gives me at the most random places and times and situations! Just like today - He placed something as cheesy as this website before me. But oh! How thankful I am! 

Thank you Lord for constantly showing me little signs! From the Cross, to the beauty of a beach, to a simple website - it's always a great reminder that You are here with me. 

Not one of my normal posts - much shorter!

I read this and it sounded like it could be an awesome lyric to a great song....

"Lord, Break my heart when I even think of doing what is dishonorable..."


Beautiful, huh? Mark 12:30

When in doubt - turn to Him

"The enemy's hope for Christians is that we will either be so ineffective we have no testimony, or we'll ruin the one we have." 

Ah! How often does it happen that you pick up your Bible, or hear a message in church - and it's like God is right there whispering in your ear? It happens to me quite often - including today. This quote above form Beth Moore's book, as usual, hits home with me tonight.

Lately, I have been sinking further down to the enemy's level. I haven't gone out and lied, steal, cheated, killed, or anything like that! No, but I have given up hope and lost faith in a lot of stuff. Isn't that just as bad? I've given in to the enemy. I've thrown my hands up in the air and simply said, "I'm done".

Unfortunately I seem to think that the enemy is working harder and in more ways in my life at the moment than He is. And I know that's not true, but lately, I just cannot see the silver lining. A few nights ago - my last post - I felt stronger than I had felt in a long time. It was paradoxical in a way - I was vulnerable and weak - letting out all of my emotions, and yet, I found some hidden strength that made me sit down, type a post, and scream out to God for help, support, and guidance.

Sometimes it appears that I have no "testimony" yet - and maybe that's ok because I'm still "getting to that place."

Often times I do feel as though my journey with Christ is ineffective - and maybe the enemy is right? I try and try - and always seem to fail. I just can't "get there." But, no! Sure, that could be enemy's hope - for us to fall, to fail, and give up hope. No testimony = no belief. No hope. No faith.

I'm not there yet. While I don't feel as though I yet to have a strong testimony to my faith - I still do have belief that I can get there. I still have hope. I still have faith. Sure, sometimes it's a lot weaker and less apparent as others. But it's still there. Faith. Hope. Belief.

Now, "ruining the one [testimony] we have" - well, if I don't have one yet, I guess I can't ruin it, right?

Part of me feels like I do have some testimonies - there are the ladies whom I worked with at TK - Jo, Lu, Mar, Stephanie, and of course Mary. Mary's family and Jo's daughter Lindsay - they all touched my life in a spiritual way and opened my eyes in different ways to the kindness, strength, honest and truthfulness, and love of Christians. They all brought me back to wanting to go to church and wanting to be a better Christian. Now, here in Indiana, I have met some of the kindest, strongest ladies again through the school in which I work. Through some male co-workers who introduced me to their wives (Jamie and Jess) - I now have some more guidance when it comes to this "stuff". On a different level, they have gotten to know me at probably one of my most vulnerable times of my life.  A girl from my sorority, Beth - I can turn to her for strength and guidance even I haven't talked to her in a few months. I know she will always be willing to listen and be there for me just to give me some words to help me through. Deb and Chuck - they showed me what it's like to have true happiness and true love.

Can all of those instances, those times, be considered my testimonies? When those around me show me a new, better, path? When those around me help me to see the good, the strength of prayer, the hope in Christ? If that counts, then I guess I've had quite a few "testimonies"!!!!

How embarrassing, that I meet new people, turn to people at times when I'm at my weakest and struggling? And while I say that - I know all of the above mentioned people would not judge me at those low times.

It's so refreshing to type that and know that I can turn to them. Why then, is it, that I only seem to go to them when I am having problems? I really need to be a better friend. Those are the people I need to surround myself with. I honestly KNOW God has brought me to these places, introduced me to these people, all in His name. His work. His doing. And I hope he sees all the good deeds His believers are doing, and all the work they are accomplishing in His name - just in my life alone.

So, to close, to hell - literally - to the enemy. The enemy can hope all it wants that I will fail and have an ineffective testimony, or ruin the one I do have. But throughout this post, I have realized that while I am still on my search and path with Christ, and maybe my testimonies aren't that strong, I do have my own. Mine. It's what's worked for ME. They are my stories, my testimonies, my witness to how He, You, has/have worked in my life - especially through some great friends brought upon by moves, new jobs, etc.

Thank you Lord for putting those people into my life who have made a difference to ME in Your name. While they may not all see it in themselves, I know You are using them to spread Your Word - and they are making a change in at least one person's life. Mine. Please help me to reach out to them more - to remember them in times of strength and not just weakness. Please encourage me to surround myself with people who are strong in their beliefs of the Christian faith. I pray for all of those who have been a part of my testimonies that they continue their work in Your name. Give them support, strength, and guidance. Please help me to be that person who does Your work, spreads Your word, for someone else in my lifetime.


To the enemy - suck it.

Yeah, I know it's been a while. I'm embarrassed at how miserably I failed at my New Year's Resolution. I regret that I did not stay true to myself - and God - with my daily prayer blog. It's been a long, eventful, 2012 already. And while so much of it is/was for the better, I am beginning to struggle...all over again.

Tonight, out of nowhere, I had a major meltdown.

I need you God. More than I have needed you in a long time.

I have this ever-struggling feeling that I don't want to live my life anymore. One day I am happy - the next I am just plain sad. I've started pushing people away and out of my life - not wanting to get close to anyone for fear that I will lose them, hurt them, they will hurt me, or just because I want to be alone.

It's times like these that if I am ever alone - I need You more than ever.

I'm not sure if it's all that's happened this year. I'm not sure if it's looking through old photos of my past. Or looking through current photos of my friends' lives. Memories are the death of me. To me, everyone else seems so happy. Marriages - that are working out. Babies. Families together. Doing things, getting things done. Going places.

Me. I'm just stuck here. In this world of.....this world of....having everything - a job, healthy family, a place to live, great dog, a few close friends - and yet I feel as though my life is completely empty. My heart is empty of joy. Empty of everything, it seems. Except feelings of failure, sadness, regret, and hopelessness.

Why can't I be truly happy for the happiness of others. Sure, I am happy for them. But in my heart, I am envious. I wish I could feel that same happiness as they all appear to have.

People know - they've "heard" about my recent life-changes and I am still embarrassed about it all. Look, I can't even type the word.  Just my "life changes".  It really bothers me that no one - not ONE person - has asked ME about it - about anything. (ok, maybe like two of my friends.) It's as if no one cares about all that I am going through. Maybe they're nervous, or scared they might say the wrong thing. Maybe they don't know how to bring it up. I guess I get that. But it still makes it feel as though no one really cares. Maybe I've just done a good job at hiding the fact that all this IS a big deal. Everything that has happened DOES hurt, and DOES make me upset. Maybe I am good at covering it all up - making it look easy. Again, guess I brought this all on myself.

I'm just so embarrassed about it - about what my life has become. What I've turned it into. I want to run away. Get away from it all. Start a new life where no one knows who I am, or my past, and start all over again. Fresh. New. That's impossible though.

I guess maybe it's my fault. Maybe I should have asked for more help along the way.

With all this that has happened to my life - what I've done to myself - it has taken a toll on me. Sure, I brought it all on myself. I did this. But I never thought it would have caused me to want this -to just go away. Just run.

I want to cancel plans. To turn people down who I have made plans with. I'd rather be alone than suck someone else into my pit of childishness and blackness. No one deserves to be brought into my living sadness.

Sometimes all I can think about is how appealing my dreams are when I sleep...and how I would love to just sleep forever. To get away from real life. Forever.

I feel like I am a miserable failure. Sure, people tell me all the time I'm not - that I've accomplished so much. But if I don't think that or believe it - it really doesn't matter.  I've failed at one of the most important aspects of life - happiness.

Sometimes I'm not even sure if it's lack of happiness in my life. Or rather, the completeness of feeling nothing. Or the fullness of lacking joy. Or entirely being consumed by feeling unworthy.

I feel that I am always on this path of trying to find happiness. And at the moment I think I've reached it, some dark dark fuse lights up within me. And it drags me back to the depths of sadness.

Why is it that everyone else in the world seems to be happy?

Maybe it's true. Maybe we're not brought here on this earth to be happy - but instead to be Holy. Maybe all along, my true happiness is IN holiness. What a concept, right? Sounds so simple.

I need to turn to Him.

And so I am.

God, this is where I need You. Now. Here. I need help. I need Your guidance and support. Give me the strength to get on with my life. Give me the strength to be happy - with my life and with myself.  I'm not looking for just being content. Help me to find the gift of always searching for more - for being happy with the present, but always wanting to gain more - in YOUR name. Give me the strength to fight this depression, the devil, who seems to be so heavy on my heart.

Before I give in and it's too late.

And then I can just dream...

See, doesn't that sound so appealing....just dream.

"January 8th": God really is The Man.

This is powerful: God can do what He says He can do precisely because He is who He says He is.

Ok, so I know we are not God. We cannot do all that God can do. But I do believe that we can do what we set our minds and hearts to. And asking for God's help and guidance along the way - we can get it done. Now, on to the main point of this passage...my take...

God is GOD.

All-knowing.

All-loving.

The beginning.

The end.

All.

Everything.

He's a no BS kinda guy.

He is who He says He is.

Done.

We need to accept that and take it all in! Recognize it! Rejoice in it! We owe it to Him!

Lord, I pray that You guide me in Your ways. Help me to see your unfailing love. You are all. And you know the path of my life. Help me to have full trust in who You are.

"January 7th": Uh Oh...

Well, I knew it was bound to happen more than once. You know what I mean...you read something and you know it's just calling out to you. And sometimes it's in such a great way...and others it forces you to recognize your shamefulness. Yep...tonight it's shame...

Like Eve, we want to feel smart, but nothing is more ignorant than choosing man's intelligence over God's.

Well, what's funny about this is that lately I have been on this huge kick about, well honestly, stupid people. My ignorant mind simply can't handle stupid people. And even just writing this, I see the fault and the sin in my way of thinking.

(Wow, these devotions are making me feel awful about myself...but that's why I think this is so great. NOW I see. NOW I can start making those changes.)

So, I read this the first time through and was like, "Duh, yes. We all want to feel smart. Good job Eve...you messed it up for all of us, but at least you were trying to feel smart. Free will. Go for it." And so what, right? I thrive on being educated, and learning new stuff, and being like a sponge just soaking it all in...and then I realized that is not at all what this passage is saying.

Lightbulb!

I don't think it's talking about worldly knowledge in the sense of simply just "knowing stuff." It's talking about knowing what is right in the eyes and heart of God and listening to THAT. Doing THAT what is right. Being educated on God and His ways and what we should be doing to live a life like Him. It's simply listening to your inner voice; your spirit - THE spirit that lives inside us all. The Holy Spirit lives within us; if only we looked deep inside ourselves more often and listened to it.

I always thought Eve was such an amazing character in the Bible. I have such a mixed image of her; I think she is beautiful, young. Graceful and innocent. All the "good". And then a part of me gets annoyed with her. She was so naive. Like come on Eve! Why didn't you just trust God? Why didn't you just believe? Why didn't you just listen to your voice? Really? You couldn't have just said,"No," to taking the apple?!

And there it is again. THAT's the main message. We are all like Eve in that sense - we make mistakes. We are faced every single day with hard choices and easy ones. And yet we still mess up. But just think if each time we were faced with a choice - a decision - we stopped for just a little bit longer and took a second to listen to our spirit, the voice inside.

Imagine the difference our world would be if Eve had just stopped and listened to the spirit within.

We, now, have the power to learn from her mistakes.

We can't just listen to "the man" - whatever or whomever that may be. To some it may be sports radio, to some it may be a politician, a celebrity. We can't choose to have false idols who we worship - that is man's intelligence.

We must listen to man upstairs. We should trust in Him more. We should listen to Him more. We should ask more of Him - He wants to help us. He wants us to turn to Him in times of praise and in need. God is all-knowing, so why wouldn't we turn to him; our spirit within ourselves - when looking for answers?

You know...lately in my life and all the drama that's been surrounding me, I got one piece of advice from a few different people. In fact, one of them said to me, "Steph, I cannot offer any advice except for this: As long as you are listening to your heart, and you know what your heart is telling you, then just listen to it. Go with what your heart is saying." And honestly, that was the best piece of advice. I'm listening to my heart. From here on out...God's intelligence. Duh. He knows best.

Imagine the difference our world would be if Eve had just stopped and listened to the spirit within.

Imagine the difference our world would be if Eve had just stopped and listened to the spirit within.

Imagine the difference our world would be if Eve had just stopped and listened to the spirit within.