Tuesday, January 3, 2012

On schedule - January 3 - Exactly what I needed tonight!

Can't say much on tonight's message other than WOW. I love times like these when I know God is hearing me and answering my prayers.

Patience to wait does not come from suffering long for what we lack but from sitting long in what we have.


I was just telling a good friend last night how badly I need to learn patience. I am the most impatient person - ever!

My life has been on a rocky road lately - and without boring you all with those details - you just need to know the following: I've been faced with a hard choice to make. Two roads. One road will be very hard, but will lead to sharing with someone in my faith, happiness and love. The other road, well, that will lead me nowhere, but keep my stable life. It will be right where I am currently; not happy, not fulfilled, and not sharing the joy of Christ with anyone close to me, but "ok". So, I've decided to take the harder road - that will reap more benefit in the long run. But I'll tell you what - it took me a long time to decide which road to take.

For a long time I thought I was being patient in my suffering for what I lacked - in my unhappy home life, I lacked love and joy and God. I thought if I just waited it out and see what happens...it would just fall into place. It's "good enough" so just let it be. I was being patient in my suffering for what I did not have.

But wow. WOW. I totally see this, my situation, in a different light now. A light that is shining down on me with warmth and love and arms wide open welcoming me. I've been patiently waiting, sitting long in what I DO have. What I DO have is a mediocre life. There is no abuse, no lies, a new house, a great job. But I've realized all that I am missing...after a year of unhappiness, I've realized that it's all been worth it to sit here patiently in what I DO have, what I AM living...if the end result is what I think is going to come to fruition. Waiting patiently (at the time, I was not patient, but I see now that I had to let it run its own course), unhappily, sad, scared, frustrated...it's all worth it. Because I trust that in the end God will lead me down the correct path. And I know He is already working His magic because He has brought someone into my life who shares the same desires in growing with Christ as I do. This is something that I have never had before in my life - and something that I have realized over the last few years - that I must have, that I need in my life.

Thank you God. Thank you for letting me open this book tonight and read this. Thank you for speaking to my heart tonight. Thank you for being YOU and working in mysterious ways in my life. :)

I'm doing exactly what I said I was not going to do and type out some of the prayer for today's devotion. It's just that these words spoke to me and I could not say it better if I tried.

The Lord will do great things for me, and I will be filled with joy. I will sow in tears, then I will reap with songs of joy...

...Please help me be willing to sow the seed of Your Word and to water it with my tears, believing You in the midst of my pain. If I do, You will be faithful to fill me with joy again. You will faithfully bring a harvest forth from my life. My suffering will not be in vain.

...You will restore me and make me strong, firm, and steadfast after I have suffered a little while.

I'm so ready to shed tears, to weep, to hurt.

Because I trust that in end, God will restore me and make me strong, firm, and steadfast.

I pray that anyone reading this who is going through a rough time right now...put all your trust in Him. Lay it on Him. He wants us to. He wants to be there for us and do good things in our lives. I know it's hard to trust someone whom we cannot physically see, or talk to, or touch...believe me, I know that! It takes time...I'm not even completely there yet...I'm still striving for that...to put everything in God's hands instead of trying to figure it out on my own...but know this: Rough times comes. We will all hurt. Cry. Be mad. Get angry. Cry some more. Ask, "why", or "why me", or "why now"?

...But in the end...God makes it work. It will all work out. In time. Just trust Him. Be patient in what you have.

No comments:

Post a Comment